WHO IS THIS / WHAT VID IS IT FROM!!!
WHO IS THIS / WHAT VID IS IT FROM!!!
The Real Monsters are reborn!
Upon getting so much attention for my previous designs, I wanted to redesign the monsters and develop the concept a little more. You’ll notice most of the monsters have subtle alterations and the descriptions have been changed to better reflect my original concepts.
Over the coming weeks I will release more (never seen before) monsters and will also release concept sketches and developmental work for each monster shown here- So stay tuned! (They may also be little animations…)
Disclaimer: The artwork is not at all intended to make light of these conditions but instead is intended to give these intangible mental illnesses some substance and make them appear more beatable as physical entities.
All work (c)Toby Allen 2013
Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble of Shadows - ‘Poetica’ 2xlp black vinyl - #676/890.
Completely different artwork from the cd/book version - a cover motive only comparison can be seen in the first picture. A new release from Anna Varney never disappoints.
Got my Poetica-Set today
KIK me :)
super bored, entertain me (NO nudes from my end. maybe provocative shots… but no nudes :P )
entertain me with compelling conversation, especially if you’re a sexy punk boy.
POISON. POISON IVY.
I’m poison runnin’ thru your veins ;)
Quirky questions, erotic scenarios, or just to chat :)
Esp if you’re a sexy punk boy. ;)
(no, I don’t send nudes, but I receive them happily. ;) )
KIK me :)
send me cool questions, weird scenarios, sexts, whatever.
anyone down for KIK?
KIK me :)
KIK ME :)
Felicien Rops, La Tentation de St. Antoine, 1878.
“We think that a man who does evil to us and to his neighbours must be very evil. So he is, from a social standpoint; but can’t you realize that Evil in its essence is a lonely thing, a passion of the solitary, individual soul?…It appears to me that it is simply an attempt to penetrate into another and higher sphere in a forbidden manner…Sin is an effort to gain the ecstasy and knowledge that pertain alone to angels, and in making this effort man becomes a demon.”
Arthur Machen, The White People, 1899.
The Decadence was fascinated and titillated by evil, sacrilege and sin. Like Existentialist novels, Decadent novels often ended with some gratuitous, ambiguously philosophic murder – Lorrain’s Monsieur de Phocas, Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray, Rachilde’s Monsieur Venus and Marquise de Sade, Rodenbach’s Bruges-la-Morte. But unlike the Existentialists, the Decadents never toyed with amorality, aspired to atheism or cast good and evil into the muddy waters of human, secular subjectivity. Their perversity implied an inverted piety – their conception of sin relied on a basically Catholic moral universe – in order to experience fully the pleasures of the Sinner, one must credit the virtue of the Saint. All that adultery, sodomy, obscenity and literary blasphemy would’ve been dull and meaningless to people who had declared religion foolish and such acts nothing but banal crime – petty legal transgressions. The Satanism Huysmans investigates in Là-Bas is theistic and indeed Catholic – the Black Mass must be performed by a defrocked priest with consecrated hosts. The fallen priest in the novel, Canon Docre, has the face of Christ tattooed on his feet so that he is perpetually desecrating the image. Such actions are in no way an abandonment of religion, simply a perversion of it, so when Felicien Rops declared that his then-horrifically shocking Tentation de St. Antoine was not an ‘attack on religion,’ he was being sincere.
Philippe Jullian tells us Catholicism was “utterly repellent to every rationalist, but by the very irrationality of its propositions proved attractive to a generation which preferred Verlaine and Villiers de l’Isle-Adam to Zola or Taine.” At a time when these dreamers were revolting against dull, demystified, industrial, rational materialism, Catholic religion in all its most morbid and mysterious manifestations became de rigueur, whether one was idealizing ancient rites and saintly souls, or siding with Satan. The excesses of the Medieval Church possessed all the appropriate aesthetics – monumental, unfathomable beauty executing grotesque and bizarre torture, a time when superstitions were reality and dark, Wagnerian woods hid orgiastic Sabbats and witches transforming into wolves. Therefore the fin de siècle’s renewed interest in the Church and its mania for anything sinful, occult, magical, Rosicrucian or Satanic are indeed two sides of the same quest to shirk modernity in favor of mystery.
I feel like everything is falling apart right now & I have no one that grasps the pain or can truly comprehend the complexities. Everyone I know is going through something and I try so hard to be there for them, but I have so much going on right now; the rope is growing taut and fraying.
I’m a mixture of exhilarated and mortified about going away for college - everyone keeps saying “Oh, everyone is nervous their first time” but fuck that - not everyone has to worry about crippling gender dysphoria that inhibits every fucking function in their lives, right down to the goddamn bathroom goings-on that take place (communal bathrooms, the bane of my life! the anxiety is sky high).
To make it worse, I have NO MONEY to go down to nyc with; absolutely zip, nill, zilch; so much has come up at once that I’ve had to blow vast amounts on unforeseen things - I’ve barely had a “summer” this year - no shopping, no splurging. it’s mainly been spent on food, necessities and helping my family.
My heart continues to be broken by a love I can not fight - every time I drift away, back out to sea, I am reeled back in and tormented further. I don’t think I can handle this much longer. I have so much spinning through my head that it may implode; I just want to cry, have someone comfort me, but I don’t even have time for a breakdown.